Sometimes I wish I had a British accent, or even a German one.

As you may or may not know, I enjoy making fun of my bodily “defects”; the ones I was so graciously blessed with–i.e. pale skin, fat head, etc. So I have a problem, and it’s pretty terrible. I have kankles; and what that really means, aside from not really having (cute, petite) ankles is that I have HUGE f’ing calves! Now, one would think that all you have to do is excersize on a regular basis and work those babies away. Wrong! The more I run, walk, etc. the bigger they get! And no amount of stretching after said activites makes them any leaner (or smaller for that matter). In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I had thinner legs in general when I WASN’T walking/running as much. So this is what I want to know:

Why don’t they make boots with wide openings like they make wide width shoes?! I don’t have fat feet, I just apparently have larger (than average) calves. It’s just not fair!

I never brushed my teeth today…

But that’s OK, because I never actually left the house…so I didn’t shower, put a bra on or get dressed. I mostly just ate and slept, laid in bed thinking about all of the other, more productive things I should be doing and watched some season four of The Office. Thank goodness I don’t work on weekends anymore or I would never survive. I don’t have much to report, so there really isn’t much to write. Actually, I’m sure I could think of something, but I’m just being incredibly lazy. I’m just writing right now because I feel guilty about having not written my 250 words for the week.

So, now that I’ve admitted to having never brushed my teeth today, I think I’ll go and do just that. And eat some more.

Also, just FYI, I had a good day on Saturday. Nothing special I suppose, but fun none-the-less.

When the going gets tough, the tough…

…hide in their rooms? That’s what I do anyway. And more specifically, my bed. Remember when I said I jinxed myself? Well I definitely did. Unfortunately, I’ve developed a lethargic way of dealing with things that don’t allow to me to keep that plastic smile on 100%–which is to say, I don’t deal with them. I prefer to run away to sleep and wait for everything to blow over. Unfortunately, things don’t just magically blow over; there isn’t some swirling, whirling wind that comes through and blows all the shit out of life. So ultimately, no matter how much I try to sleep away my life when things aren’t quite going as planned, I still find myself dealing with the matter at hand. And I do it with a smile damn it! (After I get over that whole upset/disappointed/depressed bit of course.) As one of my favorite guilty-pleasure movie heroines responds after being asked if she’s OK (as she too has been dealing with a sticky situation):

“Oh, fine. And…scared shitless. But you know, perky!”