Posts Tagged 'Annoyed'

I just want to use your love, tonight.

It’s come to my attention that I roll with an interesting group of friends. These friends consist mostly of guys–each special in their own way and all of them, strangely enough, single. So of course any new girl brought into this plethora of men is going to go ape shit–it’s a single man smorgasbord. Obviously, having been in this group for more years than I can remember and having known some of these guys since high school, I get a little wary of new girls brought into the group. Not because I’m jealous (these guys are like my brothers), but because I have to watch the same scene unfold every time–girl sees lots of attractive, single guys, girl flirts with and soaks up all the attention she can possibly get from each of them, occasionally girl causes rift between two male parties, then girl disappears. I basically watch all of the guys get played in one way or another. At first I would think to myself, “They’ll learn.” But it just kept happening. At one point I became very vocal on how I felt about these girls, but that earned me a reputation–and not a very nice one, mind you (so I learned my lesson, and kept my mouth shut)! You try putting up with a bunch of dumb-dumbs playing your friends and tell me how you feel! (I know, I’m so selfish.)

So anyway, since I’ve been back, I haven’t really cared to notice what kind of girls happen to stumble in (and out of) the group and when they have, I’ve even gone out of my way to introduce myself and be nice to the ones that seem to be sticking around (surprising, I know–considering I have a reputation as a “lioness”). But apparently this isn’t enough because I’m still catching flack and I’m not even doing anything.  Guys, yes, your lady friends are cute and yes, they’re nice but that doesn’t mean I don’t see right through them. I know I’m considered “one of the guys” but that doesn’t make me any less of a girl. I know how we operate, I am one. Remember? And I care about and love each and every one of you, even when I’m not feeling the love back. I guess I’m just protective of my friends (guys and girls alike), I have high standards for all of them, and I would hope that you’d feel the same. So please don’t be mad when I’m not as super psyched as you are when someone new enters the scene. Especially when these chicks aren’t exactly psyched on me either. (And why should they be? I’m a single girl hanging out with a bunch of single dudes and that’s not exactly normal.)

I’m a snobby, judgmental elitist. And the ironic thing is, so are you. But I’m not sorry about it.

Dear, I fear we’re facing a problem.

In all honesty, I kind of feel bad (or maybe ridiculous) for writing that last post. I had actually finished it a couple of weeks prior to posting it, but had a hard time convincing myself to publish it. So it sat there in my queue until I was finally like, “Whatevs.” But, I feel like I’m (please excuse the expression, for lack of a better) beating a dead horse (how did that saying even originate?!). Everything lately has been boys, boys, boys. And you know how I get when all I seem to talk about are boys–annoyed. With myself. I have a close gay, male friend whom I used to share a lot of my “boy problems” with and one day he said, “Well maybe if you stop dealing with boys and start dealing with men, you wouldn’t have so much to worry about.” And I get what he’s saying, but I think I’d still be in the same boat that I am now; which is to say, a sinking one. Thank God I know how to swim.

So no more about boys (for now). I have this great blog that I’m working on about movies I’ve seen as of late where the guy doesn’t end up with the girl, but I’ll just have to save that for later, because techincally, I believe it falls under the “boys” or “men” category. Right?

Anyway, I have a new series I’d like to introduce to this blog, the “Frienterview”! I’m going to do a series/profiles on some of my most favorite people in my life. Exciting, no? I personally thought it was a great idea. As soon as I have all of my interview questions ready, I’ll get my first frienterview posted. But at this time I’d like to ask, do I have any volunteers?! (You know that any of you who read this and know me personally are of course in that “favorite people” category–so don’t hesitate to volunteer and be interviewed!)

Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own? I thought you were special.  I thought you should know.

Hustlin’, hustlin’. Everyday I’m hustlin’.

I’ve been in a mood…you know what I mean? I can’t seem to shake it either. I thought I had toward the end of last week, but it’s back…what to do…?

I can’t sleep. I mean, I sleep, but it’s not real sleep. My mind hasn’t shut down since…? Won’t shut down. I dream and then can’t remember if what happened was a dream or something that actually happened in my waking life. It’s a weird sensation. It happens every so often. I just want to sleep. Real sleep.

Aside from the usual suspects–school, finals, work, etc. I think I’ve made a decision that I’m not very happy with. That I wasn’t really ready for. That I kind of want to take back. It causes me little pangs of pain; teeny, tiny panic attacks. I really did think I would be fine, but maybe I’ve changed my mind. When did I become this kind of girl?

I apologize for being so cryptic. Sometimes I can’t decide if something is blog appropriate or personal journal appropriate? Maybe there’s no longer a difference? I want to talk about it, and I don’t. Mostly I just want it to go away.

Still waiting on that time machine…