Dear, I fear we’re facing a problem.

In all honesty, I kind of feel bad (or maybe ridiculous) for writing that last post. I had actually finished it a couple of weeks prior to posting it, but had a hard time convincing myself to publish it. So it sat there in my queue until I was finally like, “Whatevs.” But, I feel like I’m (please excuse the expression, for lack of a better) beating a dead horse (how did that saying even originate?!). Everything lately has been boys, boys, boys. And you know how I get when all I seem to talk about are boys–annoyed. With myself. I have a close gay, male friend whom I used to share a lot of my “boy problems” with and one day he said, “Well maybe if you stop dealing with boys and start dealing with men, you wouldn’t have so much to worry about.” And I get what he’s saying, but I think I’d still be in the same boat that I am now; which is to say, a sinking one. Thank God I know how to swim.

So no more about boys (for now). I have this great blog that I’m working on about movies I’ve seen as of late where the guy doesn’t end up with the girl, but I’ll just have to save that for later, because techincally, I believe it falls under the “boys” or “men” category. Right?

Anyway, I have a new series I’d like to introduce to this blog, the “Frienterview”! I’m going to do a series/profiles on some of my most favorite people in my life. Exciting, no? I personally thought it was a great idea. As soon as I have all of my interview questions ready, I’ll get my first frienterview posted. But at this time I’d like to ask, do I have any volunteers?! (You know that any of you who read this and know me personally are of course in that “favorite people” category–so don’t hesitate to volunteer and be interviewed!)

Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own? I thought you were special.  I thought you should know.

I rode a fixie for the first time on Sunday.

While living in San Francisco for the past two years, I went through four semesters of school. For the most part, I did well in school. But there was one particular class that I ended up flunking every single semester (including Summer semesters that I wasn’t even enrolled in!)– Guy 101: Dating and Men (or boys, depending on the situation and maturity level–it was an umbrella course).

This became a joke in my San Francisco household between my roommates and myself…only, it wasn’t really a joke. No matter how hard I studied, the important information just didn’t sink in and I just couldn’t comprehend; resulting in a big, fat F every time I had a test, thus flunking Guy 101 again and again and again! I could go through every scenario and give examples of said flunked exams, but it would be exhausting and embarrassing–the bright, red flags (that were up right in front of my face) that I missed, the misinterpretations of words and actions, the drunkenness that ensued. And there were so many failed experiments– Fat Head, Dead Fish, Fresh Fish, Minn Mac…all of them, fail, fail and epic fail.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t know how to date. I know how to be in a relationship–be a girlfriend–I did it once for many years and I like to think I did it well. I just don’t know at what point you go from “dating” to being in an exclusive relationship (you know, the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing).

I didn’t come away completely empty-handed though. Here are a few of the lessons I did actually “learn” along the way:

1. Men do not take woman on dates anymore–at least not in San Francisco.

2. I am a terrible judge of  the male character–they’re usually only that nice in the beginning because they want something, duh.

3. Commitment is often a bad word in the male dictionary.

4. I should not always be honest and say what I am thinking– this one didn’t actually sink in; I’m going to be honest, say what I really think about something and ask questions whether you like it or not! But I did notice that it would get me in a lot of trouble. Hah.

5. Generally speaking, men are selfish and unapologetic creatures.

So there you have it. Having now been relocated to Southern California, I don’t really plan on taking Guy 101 again…I think I’ve hit my limit in retaking the course anyway (thank you sweet, baby Jesus–I don’t think my delicate psyche could handle another F).

There was only one man worth my time in San Francisco anyway, and that man–was not you! So don’t even try and flatter yourself.

Please note that I used words such as “usually” and “generally” when describing what I’ve learned about the male behavior; which is to say, despite my constant failing, I don’t think every man is as described above. Thank you.