Posts Tagged 'Guys'

I just want to use your love, tonight.

It’s come to my attention that I roll with an interesting group of friends. These friends consist mostly of guys–each special in their own way and all of them, strangely enough, single. So of course any new girl brought into this plethora of men is going to go ape shit–it’s a single man smorgasbord. Obviously, having been in this group for more years than I can remember and having known some of these guys since high school, I get a little wary of new girls brought into the group. Not because I’m jealous (these guys are like my brothers), but because I have to watch the same scene unfold every time–girl sees lots of attractive, single guys, girl flirts with and soaks up all the attention she can possibly get from each of them, occasionally girl causes rift between two male parties, then girl disappears. I basically watch all of the guys get played in one way or another. At first I would think to myself, “They’ll learn.” But it just kept happening. At one point I became very vocal on how I felt about these girls, but that earned me a reputation–and not a very nice one, mind you (so I learned my lesson, and kept my mouth shut)! You try putting up with a bunch of dumb-dumbs playing your friends and tell me how you feel! (I know, I’m so selfish.)

So anyway, since I’ve been back, I haven’t really cared to notice what kind of girls happen to stumble in (and out of) the group and when they have, I’ve even gone out of my way to introduce myself and be nice to the ones that seem to be sticking around (surprising, I know–considering I have a reputation as a “lioness”). But apparently this isn’t enough because I’m still catching flack and I’m not even doing anything.  Guys, yes, your lady friends are cute and yes, they’re nice but that doesn’t mean I don’t see right through them. I know I’m considered “one of the guys” but that doesn’t make me any less of a girl. I know how we operate, I am one. Remember? And I care about and love each and every one of you, even when I’m not feeling the love back. I guess I’m just protective of my friends (guys and girls alike), I have high standards for all of them, and I would hope that you’d feel the same. So please don’t be mad when I’m not as super psyched as you are when someone new enters the scene. Especially when these chicks aren’t exactly psyched on me either. (And why should they be? I’m a single girl hanging out with a bunch of single dudes and that’s not exactly normal.)

I’m a snobby, judgmental elitist. And the ironic thing is, so are you. But I’m not sorry about it.

I rode a fixie for the first time on Sunday.

While living in San Francisco for the past two years, I went through four semesters of school. For the most part, I did well in school. But there was one particular class that I ended up flunking every single semester (including Summer semesters that I wasn’t even enrolled in!)– Guy 101: Dating and Men (or boys, depending on the situation and maturity level–it was an umbrella course).

This became a joke in my San Francisco household between my roommates and myself…only, it wasn’t really a joke. No matter how hard I studied, the important information just didn’t sink in and I just couldn’t comprehend; resulting in a big, fat F every time I had a test, thus flunking Guy 101 again and again and again! I could go through every scenario and give examples of said flunked exams, but it would be exhausting and embarrassing–the bright, red flags (that were up right in front of my face) that I missed, the misinterpretations of words and actions, the drunkenness that ensued. And there were so many failed experiments– Fat Head, Dead Fish, Fresh Fish, Minn Mac…all of them, fail, fail and epic fail.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t know how to date. I know how to be in a relationship–be a girlfriend–I did it once for many years and I like to think I did it well. I just don’t know at what point you go from “dating” to being in an exclusive relationship (you know, the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing).

I didn’t come away completely empty-handed though. Here are a few of the lessons I did actually “learn” along the way:

1. Men do not take woman on dates anymore–at least not in San Francisco.

2. I am a terrible judge of  the male character–they’re usually only that nice in the beginning because they want something, duh.

3. Commitment is often a bad word in the male dictionary.

4. I should not always be honest and say what I am thinking– this one didn’t actually sink in; I’m going to be honest, say what I really think about something and ask questions whether you like it or not! But I did notice that it would get me in a lot of trouble. Hah.

5. Generally speaking, men are selfish and unapologetic creatures.

So there you have it. Having now been relocated to Southern California, I don’t really plan on taking Guy 101 again…I think I’ve hit my limit in retaking the course anyway (thank you sweet, baby Jesus–I don’t think my delicate psyche could handle another F).

There was only one man worth my time in San Francisco anyway, and that man–was not you! So don’t even try and flatter yourself.

Please note that I used words such as “usually” and “generally” when describing what I’ve learned about the male behavior; which is to say, despite my constant failing, I don’t think every man is as described above. Thank you.