Archive for July, 2009

I left my heart in San Francisco.


Here is what I would like to call my “San Francisco Hall of Fame”. It consists of a few of my favorite people, places, pictures, moments, etc. during the last two years. They are in no particular order and if you made it on the blog, congratulations! And If I somehow forgot about you– I am sincerely sorry and you must not have been around when I was constantly taking photos. If you hate me for putting a particular picture of you up, I apologize. I only did it out of love and I wanted to share this love with my five loyal readers. I would also like it to be known that I did steal a few photos from my dear friend, Miss Sarah Fredricks and you can check out more of her goods here.

I miss you all so very much.


(Click on image to see a larger version. And then click on it again for an even larger version!)


Today was my last day at work.

I held it together until I got home and then I couldn’t hold it together anymore. So, I’m sitting on the couch home alone with my tears, eating chocolate. Hahaha. Ridiculous.

This makes my heart happy and sad at the same time. It’s precious.

Yes, occasionally I’m actually mushy and sentimental.

I’d like long hair now, please.

So, it’s not as if I don’t have anything to write; it’s just that I haven’t the patience to write it. But I’ll give it a go…I just don’t know where to start…

This past month has been…different. Obviously, I’ve been dealing with the fact that I’m leaving San Francisco; the place I’ve called home for the past two years and that’s been an ever changing struggle in itself, but one that I feel I’m handling quite well (now that I’ve pretty much gotten over the denial). For practically the first half of this month I’ve been out of state. At first I had only planned on being gone for about 4 days, but then decided to further my denial about leaving and going away for 10 days instead; making moving out of SF out of sight and practically out of mind. Clearly I enjoy putting off the shit I don’t want to deal with until I absolutely have to.

So, as you may (or may not) remember, I made a small post about my last trip to Minnesota: Misuse of drugs and alcohol before the flight, hangovers, petrified cats and insomnia. It was a quick trip, so I didn’t really get comfortable until the last day I was there. This trip was a little different…

Now, I know you’re thinking, “Minnesota?! What a joke! What could there possibly be to do there?!” And you’re right, there isn’t much. However, it was a nice break from the city. To start, I hung out on my brother’s yacht on the Mississippi for the first four days I was there. From airport straight to yacht. It was fantastic. I relaxed, I swam, I ate, enjoyed time with my family, I took in the scenes. There was live music and fireworks every night.

Once we got back to my brothers house, my week consisted of sleeping in, going to the pool and swimming laps, drinking coffee, reading, writing and exploration. All of this I did with my new BFF Rex:

Rex the MinPin aka TinyWonderDog.

Rex the MinPin aka TinyWonderDog.

He was pretty awesome. I honestly didn’t like him much when we first met–he was tiny, pea-brained and seemed to have zero personality. Turns out, he was just shy. We seemed to have a connection and it was sad when I had to leave.

Now, I’m sure this all sounds relaxing and easygoing, but this is where that all ends; because on the last night of my trip I was fairly positive I was going to die! And no, I’m not joking. I was sending out text messages to those near and dear to me letting them know that I love them because I was 99.9% positive that it was all going to be over after that night.

Long story short, I got in the car with someone I trusted, but didn’t know well, who also turned out to be drunk. He was driving 110+ mph on a windy, two-lane highway in the rain, drunk. And the Camero we were in didn’t have airbags because they had already been deployed at one point or another. The driver had also totaled his truck just a few weeks prior because he was drunk (go figure) and hit a tree.  (My brother is under the impression he hit a deer that ran out in front of him, I didn’t get the real story until I was already in the Camero going 110 down the highway.) Anyway, the next thing I know, there’s a sharp turn in the highway and we’re doing 360’s all over the highway and land in a ditch (that we almost weren’t able to get out of). I felt as if I was in a video game or bad action flick. I kept envisioning us flipping over and burning alive or spinning out of control into another car or tree next. Either way, it was going to be painful and I was going to end up dead on some podunk highway in rural Minnesota. I kept trying to think of a way to escape the situation, but all of my solutions left me alone in the near dark, in the rain, in the middle of nowhere. Let the text messaging ensue.

To be continued…

I’d like to announce my resignation…

No, not from blogging. From San Francisco. That’s right, I’m leaving. This is not a test or some cruel joke (although, at times it kind of feels like it is). This is me saying goodbye to you–you, being San Francisco. In exactly two weeks I will be back, living in Southern California.

It hasn’t hit me that this is actually happening; that’s probably why I haven’t said anything. I don’t even know where/what to start packing. I just don’t want to pack at all, because as soon as I start, it means this is really happening. Obviously I’m in denial. So I guess that’s why I’m writing this–the first step in moving is to admit you are moving, then comes the packing, etc. Right?

At least I’m not crying as I write this, ’cause for a while there every time I would think about it, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I would have to desperately try and push them back. This is especially embarrassing when it happens on the train or at work.

“I have to sneeze, that’s why my eyes are watering.” Yeah, right.

I don’t even feel anything as I write this…it’s just…surreal? I just want to hide out in my room for the next two weeks and see what happens. (But of course that’s not what I’m actually going to do!) So I’m going to leave it at that for now. I’ll get to the mushy/I love/miss you stuff later. I just don’t have it in me right now.

Thank you and goodnight.