I’m only happy when it rains.

For the first time since I’ve moved back I got that feeling–the one I used to get when I lived in North County before–that suffocated, anxious feeling. It was because of that feeling that I moved away in the first place. I’ve been so content and easy going about this whole moving back situation, that to suddenly experience that sensation again is a bit unsettling. It hit me and I had to pause what I was doing for a moment before I pushed it away and blamed the whole thing on PMS. I hope this doesn’t become a recurring agitation. I’ve got a plan I’m acutely focused on, and that plan involves me being stuck here for at least 2 years.

And with that, I’ll leave you with this:

“Why I Stay”   The Black Heart Procession

This isn’t wise they say
To force a line engraved
Though we may come close
These things won’t ever change
This is why I know
This is why I must go
And so the game is plagued
With the rituals we’ve made
I know we won’t ever learn
These things they’ll never change
This is why I stay
But this is why I must go
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3 Responses to “I’m only happy when it rains.”


  1. 1 frank reynolds November 18, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    I got that same, suffocated, anxious feeling while visiting OC this last weekend… and i’d been there for maybe 18 hours.

    rugged.

    hang in there.

  2. 2 goodnightrose November 19, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    Thanks, Frank.

    P.S. I love your show.


  1. 1 You know I’m getting kind of worried, she doesn’t seem herself at all. « goodnight, rose Trackback on January 31, 2010 at 4:21 pm

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