Vista, I love you but you’re bringing me down.

I was recently asked by a fellow blogger and friend why it was that I hadn’t been blogging lately, and to paraphrase what he recently wrote in one of his blogs, you could ask me a million different times and I would give you a million different answers. I think when it really comes down to it, I’ve just been uninspired to write; not to be confused with “I have nothing to write” because I definitely have things on my mind that I’d like to attempt to put into words, but sometimes that is just so much easier said than done! Plus, sometimes I can’t decide whether something I would like to write about is too personal; as in more journal appropriate as opposed to blog appropriate, or too uninteresting, or whatever. But then I remember, this is my blog and I do what I want! Hah! So here are a few tidbits that have been on my mind; some recent and some that I wrote a few weeks ago but never posted or finished for whatever reason.

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Money may rule the world, but it won’t buy you happiness. Unfortunately, we are taught (practically from birth) that the more money you have, the more you can buy and the happier you will be. And as my English professor just said, (unbeknown to her that I am writing this in class) “Love of money is the root of all evil.”

I wrote that during one of my classes when I was supposed to be writing on the homework reading, only I hadn’t bought the book yet, so I didn’t do the reading. But I had to write something and pretend to be productive. I think I wrote what I did because, well, A. It’s true! And B. I was pissed about how much I had just spent on my German book (somewhere around $176) and was also calculating what else I was going to have to spend on the rest of my books…which has reached a grand total of over 300 dollars! Insanity. And I don’t even have a job yet.

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And here I am, still without a job…I don’t even want to talk about that though. Honestly, if I didn’t have bills to pay, I’d be perfectly content with the allowance (yes, I said allowance. I’m 24 and I HAVE AN ALLOWANCE!) my parents are giving me. No joke. It’s a pretty sweet deal. Make fun of me all you want, but when all I really want to do is finish school, not having to worry about being a functioning member of society with a j-o-b makes it that much easier to stay focused. It’s amazing how little money I actually need to “live” (when I don’t have to pay rent/buy groceries/whatever else), too. Isn’t it weird that money keeps coming up in topic, too? Hm.

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So this semester something is happening that I don’t ever remember having happen before: people are talking to me– initiating conversation! I know, you’re thinking “WTF?! Fo’ reals? With you?!” Yes, really. With me. And I like it. I don’t know what has changed; maybe I look friendlier? Do I smile more? Or maybe it’s a sympathy thing? Although, I prefer not to go down the “sympathy” route because as stuck up as this might sound, I really don’t think that’s what it is. When I mentioned this to a friend, she suggested that it’s probably the way I carry myself and the vibe I put out there. Yay! Maybe I’ll make some new friends?

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And speaking of school, I feel like it is my saving grace in this whole “moving back” debacle. Without school (and some amazing friends), I would be a lost cause. I’m on the straight and narrow and it feels great.

I have this amazing English professor for two of my classes and I absolutely love her. I’ve heard fellow pupils before my classes talk smack about her on occasion, but seriously? Her passion and excitement for literature is something to be admired. She is a true gem and I can only hope to one day be as fantastic as she is. So there’s my shout out to Paes de Barros.

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On a closing note, I know some might think that I absolutely hate being back in North County; and yes, I felt as though I left San Francisco prematurely; yes, sometimes I have my bad days and complain, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m here and I’m trying to make the most of it when I can. It’s only going to be as good as I make it and I might not always want to make it great (because you can’t be happy 24/7), but that in no way means I’m going to stop trying. So chew on that!

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2 Responses to “Vista, I love you but you’re bringing me down.”


  1. 1 eye8theidea October 6, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    school really is a saving grace, especially for those of us who roam a lot. plus, when you’re in a rut, there’s nothing like a structured introduction to a whole group of people and ideas to get the juices goin’ again!

    love ya, babydoll! 🙂

  2. 2 goodnightrose October 6, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Thanks, B! Miss you and love ya too!


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